Finding Inner Peace

A post by Kip Mazuy off his blog: www.bliss-music.com/inner_peace.htm/

""The mind is always scheming.
Looking for ways to make you happy;
ways to make you feel good.

How you can avoid feeling
the things you don't want to feel
and how you can feel more
what you would like to feel.

There is nothing wrong with this,
it is the nature of the mind.

But it is also how stress is created.

Because there is what is here
in this moment
and there is how you would like
'here' to be.

If you really look
this manipulation
is happening most of the time.

Even when you sit to meditate
the mind is scheming.

The last thing the mind wants to do
is to let go of its control
and experience this moment.

But what happens
if you let go of all the scheming
and simply feel what is here.

Not just in meditation
but in daily life.

If you find yourself
in a situation
where you are confronted
with something you do not wish to feel.

Whether there is a feeling
of loneliness, jealousy,
fear, awkwardness,
whatever feeling is there
instead of letting the survival instinct
kick in and control it, mask it,
distract yourself from it,
what if you simply allowed yourself
to feel that feeling.

If you allowed yourself
to be completely vulnerable
to that feeling.

I am not talking about
analyzing it or dramatizing it
but simply to feel the sensation of that feeling.

To just allow it.

If you allow yourself
to feel what you have been
avoiding feeling
suddenly you are immersed
in this moment
in a way you might never
have been before.

You are so immersed
in this moment,
so open to what is here,
that there is nothing to hold on to,
nothing to know.

And although
it may leave you feeling
completely vulnerable to what is here,
it also leaves you completely
in peace.

If you are completely
surrendered to your experience
of this moment
then you are at one with this moment.

You begin to recognize
the underlying experience of
deep fathomless peace
that is here all the time.

And in this peace you can learn
through practice to remain in it;
to remain aligned with it.

All of the things that you
used to avoid
now become opportunities
to move deeper into peace.

It is the practice
of moving beyond the mind,
beyond knowing
into your natural state.

Blessings,


Kip"

Phobia

Arachnophobia. The fear of spiders. Check.

Ophidiophobia. The fear of snakes. Most definitely.

Acrophobia. The fear of heights. Somewhat.

Omphalophobia. The fear of belly buttons. Not at all. Thank goodness for that!

There are lists upon lists of the random fears that people have. Some are normal. Some… not so much. I know what terrifies me most. Snakes. Spiders. Flying Ants’ Wings (There is no name for that one).

Though, I never thought I’d consider myself Claustrophobic (fearing confined spaces). And I’m not, in the normal sense of the fear. Through me into a small box, sure I’ll want to kick your ass when I’m out, but I won’t lose my mind. I suppose using the term Claustrophobic is an exaggeration, but it’s to get my point across.

Claustrophobic in the sense that I desire, so much, to get out for a while. Just like in the video I mentioned in my last post. To get out and be able to see a full-blown horizon, not the snippets you can see between the houses. Not the open field that you drive past on the way to work or varsity. A full-blown landscape! I’m picturing the bushveld. I’m picturing the mountains. Or the sea. Or even a lake. With FRESH air and no disturbance other than Nature herself.

I guess what I’m saying is that for a while now I’ve felt claustrophobic in the city. I’d love nothing more than a little alone time away from the four walls of my room. Or even having a REAL conversation with a REAL person (no, I have not resorted to talking to imaginary friends JUST yet). So much of our lives are wasted on formalities. I thoroughly miss genuine conversation.

I’ll let you know when this next mission of mine has been accomplished!

Have a fantastic night lovely people.



xxx

It happens sometimes. And, it is in these times I wish I had Dumbledore's Pensieve. Just to draw out my thoughts and put them somewhere, so my head doesn’t seem so crowded. That way I could sit and sift through them one-by-one. I suppose those who have true self-control are able to do this. I assume meditation would help too. I’ve never been very good at that, though I suppose no-one is in the beginning.

Sometimes, I wish I could elaborate more on here, but I can’t bring myself to do that. You’re virtually complete strangers to me, and there is no way I could find it in myself to make myself so vulnerable. Even typing this is taking guts for me. So much so, I’m not sure I’ll end up posting this. But, since it’s all typed, I may as well. We’ll see.

I saw the video for Bon Iver’s Holocene an hour ago, and it is one of the most beautiful places I have ever seen. So beautiful. So quiet. So far away. That is what appeals to me right now. All I feel like doing is going camping in the mountains, maybe near a lake. Making a fire and seeing the stars. It sounds like absolute bliss. Just me and Nature and God. Nothing would make me happier.

I think.

Enlightenment & The Power of Now

I have just read the most amazing post on someone else's blog. It made me smile from ear to ear. It is phenomenal!
Posted by: Kip Mazuy: http://www.globalone.tv/profiles/blog/list?user=08fj1ilcfzenv

"It's very easy
to carry the past
around with you.

To think about what happened
yesterday
or a year ago
or 20 years ago.

To think
you could have done
something different
that would have
made things better.

Or link all of the memories
together into a story
and calling it 'me.'

But it's all nonsense.

What happened
even 20 seconds ago
has nothing to do
with what you are now.

From the perspective
of the mind
you are this person
that stretches back in time.
You are the sum
of all of your memories.

But this is only mental chatter.
It has nothing to do with
what you truly are.

Truly, meaning
not what you think yourself to be
but what is here beyond
all the thinking nonsense.

No matter
what you may think about it,
you are alive in this moment.

Yesterday is not alive;
yesterday is nonexistent.

Right now,
there is the undeniable
sense of life
beyond all the useless
definitions and descriptions.

Right now life is happening
and it is your choice
whether you are alive
in this moment
or you choose
to distract yourself
about endless
commentaries
of what happened before,
what might happen later
and what to call this moment
so the mind can understand it.

If you choose in this moment
to experience yourself alive
then you are radiance.

It is no easy task,
it requires your complete
attention
to remain here
on what is really
going on in this moment.

Not your ideas about
what is going on,
not your knowledge
of what it felt like 10 seconds ago
to be alive in this moment.

But right here;
living is happening,
life is happening.

Not for your body
or your mind
or any of that nonsense.

You allow all that to be
but you look past it.

Something much bigger,
life itself
in its totality
radiating
even exploding
in this moment
with such force
that it belittles
the mind,
belittles
the idea of this
self important 'you'
with all its problems
and desires.

Its not really about
getting a certain pleasure
or attainment
but being alive,
being willing enough
to truly feel life
happening in this moment
and remaining
alive,
remaining
attentive
to the direct experience
that life is happening
forever and ever
in this moment.

To remain immersed
in the source of life
that is lighting up
the whole show.

And if you even
think about it
you miss it.

If you know it
you miss it.

It is too simple
for understanding.

Too close to you
to even be seen.

You can only be
and recognize being,
which are really the
same thing.

You fully recognize
being in this moment
and there is no
room for anything else.

Consciousness
takes up the whole view."

Peace and Love to you all <3

The Awakening (Author unknown)

I've been wanting to post since Friday night, but I haven't made the time to do so. Tonight I discovered this 'quote' (for lack of a better word), and I thought it was absolutely fantastic. The topic that I wanted to post about on Friday is mentioned in here too, so when I find the time... and the words... I will put that thought down and post it.
Have an amazing week lovely strangers.
Enjoy xxx



The Awakening
(Author unknown)


A time comes in your life when you finally get…when, in the midst of all your fears and insanity, you stop dead in your tracks and somewhere the voice inside your head cries out…ENOUGH1 Enough fighting and crying and blaming and struggling to hold on. Then, like a child quieting down after a tantrum, you blink back your tears and begin to look at the world through new eyes.

This is your awakening.

You realize it’s time to stop hoping and waiting for something to change, or for happiness, safety and security to magically appear over the next horizon.

You realize that in the real world there aren’t always fairy tale endings, and that any guarantee of “happily ever after” must begin with you…and in the process a sense of serenity is born of acceptance.

You awaken to the fact that you are not perfect and that not everyone will always love, appreciate or approve of who or what you are…and that’s OK. They are entitled to their own views and opinions.

You learn the importance of loving and championing yourself…and in the process a sense of new found confidence is born of self-approval.

Your stop complaining and blaming other people for the things they did to you – or didn’t do for you – and you learn that the only thing you can really count on is the unexpected.

You learn that people don’t always say what they mean or mean what they say and that not everyone will always be there for you and everything isn’t always about you.

So, you learn to stand on your own and to take care of yourself…and in the process a sense of safety and security is born of self-reliance.

You stop judging and pointing fingers and you begin to accept people as they are and to overlook their shortcomings and human frailties…and in the process a sense of peace and contentment is born of forgiveness.

You learn to open up to new worlds and different points of view. You begin reassessing and redefining who you are and what you really stand for.

You learn the difference between wanting and needing and you begin to discard the doctrines and values you’ve outgrown, or should never have bought into to begin with.

You learn that there is power and glory in creating and contributing and you stop maneuvering through life merely as a “consumer” looking for you next fix.

You learn that principles such as honesty and integrity are not the outdated ideals of a bygone era, but the mortar that holds together the foundation upon which you must build a life.

You learn that you don’t know everything, it’s not you job to save the world and that you can’t teach a pig to sing. You learn the only cross to bear is the one you choose to carry and that martyrs get burned at the stake.

Then you learn about love. You learn to look at relationships as they really are and not as you would have them be. You learn that alone does not mean lonely.

You stop trying to control people, situations and outcomes. You learn to distinguish between guilt and responsibility and the importance of setting boundaries and learning to say NO.

You also stop working so hard at putting your feelings aside, smoothing things over and ignoring your needs.

You learn that your body really is your temple. You begin to care for it and treat it with respect. You begin to eat a balanced diet, drinking more water, and take more time to exercise.

You learn that being tired fuels doubt, fear, and uncertainty and so you take more time to rest. And, just food fuels the body, laughter fuels our soul. So you take more time to laugh and to play.

You learn that, for the most part, you get in life what you deserve, and that much of life truly is a self-fulfilling prophecy.

You learn that anything worth achieving is worth working for and that wishing for something to happen is different than working toward making it happen.

More importantly, you learn that in order to achieve success you need direction, discipline and perseverance. You learn that no one can do it all alone, and that it’s OK to risk asking for help.

You learn the only thing you must truly fear is fear itself. You learn to step right into and through your fears because you know that whatever happens you can handle it and to give in to fear is to give away the right to live life on your own terms.

You learn to fight for your life and not to squander it living under a cloud of impending doom.

You learn that life isn’t always fair, you don’t always get what you think you deserve and that sometimes bad things happen to unsuspecting, good people…and you lean not to always take it personally.

You learn that nobody’s punishing you and everything isn’t always somebody’s fault. It’s just life happening. You learn to admit when you are wrong and to build bridges instead of walls.

You lean that negative feelings such as anger, envy and resentment must be understood and redirected or they will suffocate the life out of you and poison the universe that surrounds you.

You learn to be thankful and to take comfort in many of the simple things we take for granted, things that millions of people upon the earth can only dream about: a full refrigerator, clean running water, a soft warm bed, a long hot shower.

Then, you begin to take responsibility for yourself by yourself and you make yourself a promise to never betray yourself and to never, ever settle for less than you heart’s desire.

You make it a point to keep smiling, to keep trusting, and to stay open to every wonderful possibility.

You hang a wind chime outside your window so you can listen to the wind.

Finally, with courage in you heart, you take a stand, you take a deep breath, and you begin to design the life you want to live as best as you can.

[The Pale Blue Dot]

I’d forgotten how much better writing makes me feel. And so, here’s another post! I’ve also decided to stop apologizing for them being stupid, disjointed, boring or any other negative connotation. I’ve realized that no-one is forced to read these, so I assume there is a little bit of enjoyment that comes out of them, so thank you.


Ever felt a little in over your head? Where life just feels far too much?

Or how about when we forget that our life is not the only one being lived – that other people aren’t merely accessories to OUR lives.

I’m 100% certain that everyone has put someone, or something, on a pedestal, making them ‘larger than life’. Letting concepts, ideals and ideas be magnified into occupying everything we know.

I think we often forget that we are a hell of a lot smaller than we think we are. Our leaders, whom we think are big enough to run the world, are merely people. Small people. Who live in small houses. In small provinces/states. In a small country. On a tiny planet. In a miniscule solar system. Of a tiny galaxy. (I could continue if I were slightly more educated on the topic).

I like being put in my place every now and again. Not by people, but rather by the universe. It puts things back into perspective for me. It makes me appreciate life a lot more, and it makes things seem easier. As a Christian, it puts me in awe of how massive and magnificent and indescribable my God is. That’s why I love looking at the stars. I think it is something that I need to do more often.

It helps to know that the self-righteous leaders, boastful elders and proud youth are just as insignificant as you are. It sounds pessimistic, sure. But, look at it from the other side of things – it puts everyone on equal -footing. It’s almost laughable when someone thinks that they have unrestricted power.

I’m not nearly saying that what these people do have no effect to us on Earth. Leaders have killed thousands in war. ‘Bullies’, for lack of a better word, have destroyed many a self-esteem. Economists have thrown uncountable numbers of people into debt. And everyday things start to feel more and more hopeless.

That’s when I look to the stars. That’s when I remember just how insignificant I am. That’s when I remember that those people are just that… PEOPLE. And, that’s when I remember just how insignificant they are and how it, in its own right, levels the playing field. Ironically, it is when I feel my most powerful. I CAN make a difference, for the better, on this not-so-massive planet. I CAN take on those power-hungry dictators. We can stop suffering and make a better world for those around us.

One of the first times that I felt insignificant was when I watched a DVD called Indescribable by Louis Giglio. It is a Christian DVD, but woaaaah, it is interesting! I would recommend checking that out if you ever have the opportunity.

Another humbling moment presented itself when I heard Carl Sagan’s (astronomer, astrophysicist, cosmologist, author, science popularizer, and science communicator in astronomy and natural sciences ) speech on The Pale Blue Dot. The Pale Blue Dot is a photograph taken of Earth in 1990 by the Voyager 1 spacecraft nearly 6 BILLION kilometers away. Here’s what he had to say:

“We succeeded in taking that picture [from deep space], and, if you look at it, you see a dot. That's here. That's home. That's us. On it, everyone you ever heard of, every human being who ever lived, lived out their lives. The aggregate of all our joys and sufferings, thousands of confident religions, ideologies and economic doctrines, every hunter and forager, every hero and coward, every creator and destroyer of civilizations, every king and peasant, every young couple in love, every hopeful child, every mother and father, every inventor and explorer, every teacher of morals, every corrupt politician, every superstar, every supreme leader, every saint and sinner in the history of our species, lived there on a mote of dust, suspended in a sunbeam.
The earth is a very small stage in a vast cosmic arena. Think of the rivers of blood spilled by all those generals and emperors so that in glory and in triumph they could become the momentary masters of a fraction of a dot. Think of the endless cruelties visited by the inhabitants of one corner of the dot on scarcely distinguishable inhabitants of some other corner of the dot. How frequent their misunderstandings, how eager they are to kill one another, how fervent their hatreds. Our posturings, our imagined self-importance, the delusion that we have some privileged position in the universe, are challenged by this point of pale light. Our planet is a lonely speck in the great enveloping cosmic dark. In our obscurity – in all this vastness – there is no hint that help will come from elsewhere to save us from ourselves. It is up to us. It's been said that astronomy is a humbling, and I might add, a character-building experience. To my mind, there is perhaps no better demonstration of the folly of human conceits than this distant image of our tiny world. To me, it underscores our responsibility to deal more kindly and compassionately with one another and to preserve and cherish that pale blue dot, the only home we've ever known.”
—Carl Sagan, Pale Blue Dot: A Vision of the Human Future in Space, p. 6

There is nothing more I can add to that.
Good night, and I love you all.
xxx

[05.04.2012]

Ever wake up and wonder just how you got where you are today? It’s probably a clichéd and over-discussed idea, but in its own weird little way, it is not nearly spoken about enough.

I felt this today. Right now actually, hence why I thought I would ramble on for a bit.


How on EARTH did I land up to be the girl I am today? The girl who has decided to type this, instead of doing some varsity work. The girl who is no longer a girl, but rather a woman… Hell, when did that happen?
How did I become the young woman who is studying Medicine in Joburg? How did I come to have the friends I do? How did my life fall into place to bring me right to this very second?

It is all too fascinating to imagine what life I would have if different decisions, both big and small, had been made by and for me. One example of this would be if my family HAD moved to Truckee, California however many years ago. I most certainly would have had the accent by now. Maybe I’d still be studying to be a doctor. Or maybe I’d have decided to move into Commerce. Or ministry. Or IT (though I do think my lack of skill would still have limited me). I would be sitting in a daily average temperature of 5 degrees right about now – Thank goodness I’m not.


What if I had begged to stay at my first school, Covenant College? I would have different friends. I wonder if I would have learnt the same lessons.
What if high school never had any drama? Would we all have turned out the same people we are today?

(Note: If you haven’t seen The Butterfly Effect, do it!)

Yeah, well, obviously things would not have turned out the same for me if any other such decisions were made. It’s tough to contemplate though. Did I make the right decisions, or is who I am now not who I ought to be?
I suppose it ends up like those multiple conclusion Goosebumps books. There is no right or wrong ending, but you do, ultimately, feel a sense of happiness or disappointment once you’ve discovered where your decision has taken you.

I’d like to think that who I am today, and what I am doing with my life, is the path that gives me that sense of happiness. While, yes, there are many things that I can acknowledge aren’t perfect or how I’d planned them to be, I’ve just got to trust that they are part of the path that will lead me to a fulfilling ending.

All the bad decisions, struggles and mistakes I have made and endured, may have, at the time, seemed completely detrimental to my progress in life. Though, looking back, what I took from those events has brought me to where I am today.

There are definitely still things that I am enduring and carrying with me now. I don’t understand them, no matter how hard I try. All I can hope is that they turn out to be lessons for the future. Things that I can better my life with, so I can ‘level up’ and be a better version of me.

Don’t worry, I haven’t neglected the amazing times and blessings I have received. These are the fundamentals in building our lives, and I am lucky enough to say that I have had an uncountable number of them.
I guess we’ll never know the actions that have brought us to where we are now. I suppose we just need to trust they were right for us, and if not, make the best of what we have now. I think I can safely say that I am ecstatic with the path my life has taken. There are certain aspects that I still question, but I will only see where they lead me, in the future. And I’m quite sure that I’ll be where I need to be because of them.

I understand that this post was disjointed and imperfect, but it matches my mood, so I’m quite happy leaving it as is (: Without re-reading it either… eh :P

Love you all!
xxx